A Story of Recovery:

Man in the Mirror 


I am on board my fifth cruise as a guest speaker and had a wonderful moment a few days ago that really brought tears to my eyes. Before I tell you about that special moment, I need to explain the miracle of my even being here in the first place. My history is of decades of bingeing, dieting, and over-exercising. I could not pass a buffet without “hoovering” it up! My marriage was in tatters, my body bloated and exhausted, and my life was a complete lie. I was inauthentic and unable to express my feelings and often felt the ferocity of my inner frustrations and deep sadness.  

I found having three teenage sons, working part-time as a nurse and the pressures of life almost too much to bear. I did, however, seek solace in food and for many years it numbed the pain and gave me some sort of comfort even though it was short lived.  

I yo-yoed up and down with my weight, either desperately trying to control my eating with rigorous exercise and diets or constantly promising myself “I will start my diet tomorrow.” 

What a sad way of living, never to experience real peace or contentment!  So, as I lie in the sunshine on the top deck of a cruise ship liner in my beautiful body, wrapped in my husband’s loving arms, I reflect back on the moment we were in Madeira looking out over the ocean and the Michael Jackson song, Man in the Mirror, was being played. I instantly remembered what my life was like nearly 17 years ago and how the miracle of FA has transformed every part of me. Today I am blessed, I have been able to organize having all my meals catered for me on the cruise. (That’s 54 meals! Only a food addict would work that out!) I am able to handle each meal without my old patterns plaguing my every thought. At last, I can enjoy the body of my dreams and the most amazing health I could only dream of. 

For this, I am eternally grateful for God doing for me what I could not do for myself. I now love and respect the person I see in the mirror. 

 

This story was originally published in the Connection Magazine. Subscribe to the Connection Magazine for more stories of recovery. Or submit your own story of recovery.